TAPS: A Force for Good
- Richard Selke
- May 27
- 6 min read
Updated: Jun 17
May 28, 2025
LISTEN TO AUDIO
I was napping in the hotel lobby while taking a break from the seminar. I had nodded off and, as I was waking up, I became aware of one of the most calming presences I have ever experienced. I kept my eyes closed for a while basking in the feeling. When I finally opened my eyes, there, sitting at my feet, looking up at me, was the most magnificent golden retriever I have ever seen.
Susan and I were in San Diego attending a TAPS Survivors Weekend.
Our son, Clay, had taken his life about eighteen months before.
At the age of twenty-three, Clay enlisted in the United States Marine Corps. He deployed to Iraq. While on patrol, Clay’s wrist was shot out from under his chin by an enemy sniper’s bullet. He recovered, but was diagnosed with PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) and began to have anxiety and panic attacks. He became a Scout Sniper and deployed to Afghanistan. Clay cherished his time in the Marines, his purpose in serving his country and the fellowship that was built with his band of brothers.
After Clay was honorably discharged from active duty, he began to reengage in civilian life while attempting to heal from PTSD, survivor’s guilt and moral injury. He enrolled in Loyola-Marymount University in Los Angeles, and became involved in several veteran-related organizations.
Clay found peace and healing in continuing to serve others. He was passionate about helping others like him who suffer from the invisible scars of battle-related trauma, and, like so many of our veterans, he continued to struggle. On March 31, 2011, the darkness and depression that he battled for so long overcame him. Clay took his life.
Just a few days after Clay died, Susan received a call from Kim Ruocco who worked with an organization called Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors - TAPS. Founded in 1994, TAPS is a national nonprofit organization providing care, comfort, hope and resources to all those grieving a death in the military or veteran community. TAPS supports any survivor – spouse, child, parent, sister, brother, friend, anyone.
Bonnie Carroll, TAPS President and Founder, is a veteran, a retired major in the Air Force Reserves. Bonnie is the surviving spouse of Brigadier General Tom Carroll who died in an Army plane crash in 1992. At that time there was no support system to comfort and care for Bonnie in her grief. So, out of her personal tragedy, she saw the need and founded TAPS, building the program into what it is today. In 2015, Bonnie received the Presidential Medal of Freedom, which is the highest civilian award of the United States.
Many survivors deal with trauma, an emotional response to a terrible event. Like a physical injury, it can come with symptoms: agitation, fear, anxiety, depression, difficulty with relationships, avoidance, insomnia and behavioral disruption. And there is a huge spiritual component.
When Clay died our world turned upside down. As one Christian counselor told us, our cognitive maps had exploded and it would take time to reorient ourselves in our lives. Clay’s death rippled through our entire family and out into the world. We had to accept where we were in the moment – traumatized and in shock, dealing with our grief. We had to stand in that place, and be open to God’s healing.
Often when a loved one is taken, there are no words that can be said; however, the TAPS community walked with us in our grief and simply loved us. At that weekend event in San Diego, Susan and I were astonished by the hundreds of people present, all who had lost loved ones. And we watched as we were cared for by the TAPS team and by each other. All of us had our stories and we all shared a common tragedy. And we all came together to offer our love and support.
I remember all of the children who were there, most of whom had lost their mothers or fathers. While the adults were being taken care of, TAPS had a special camp for the kids – Camp Good Grief – and the camp counselors were Marines from nearby Camp Pendleton. I watched those kids leave in the morning – distraught, sad, unhappy – and then I watched them as they returned at the end of the day – happy and joyful – at least in that moment. And so were the Marines, carrying them on their shoulders.
Bonnie’s call to found TAPS is a perfect example of how God transforms a personal loss into a purposeful mission. God is using Bonnie and her team for the good of a lot of hurting people and to His glory. There’s a saying: “Hurt people, hurt people.” That may be true – sometimes. However, our experience with TAPS is that hurt people help people.
There are many organizations out there that do not call themselves “church” that truly are the hands and feet of Jesus Christ. TAPS is certainly one of them. Susan and I thank the Lord for TAPS – a force for good in the world.
Last Monday was Memorial Day, a day that was never intended to be a holiday, a day that our nation pays homage to and mourns our honored dead, those who have died who served in the United States Armed Forces.
*To learn more about TAPS visit www.taps.org
REMEMBER & BELIEVE
Christ has died; Christ is risen; Christ will come again.
In the meantime, pray for our honored dead and the survivors who love them!
PRAYER
Heavenly Father, we come before You with hearts full of gratitude for the lives of those who serve others with selfless courage and compassion. We thank You for the example of Bonnie and her team of men and women who have answered the call to be Your hands and feet in a world in need of healing. We ask that You continue to bless and guide their mission, granting them the strength, wisdom, and love needed to bring hope to those in despair. We lift up all Your precious children who are struggling with the invisible wounds of trauma. May they find peace and restoration through Your grace.
Lord, we also ask that You continue to work in our own hearts, helping us to be instruments of Your peace in our daily lives. Use us to bring Your light into the darkest places. May we always remember that in serving others, we are serving You.
We praise You, Lord, for turning tragedy into testimony, for bringing beauty from ashes, and for using all things for Your glory. May we trust in Your plans and follow where You lead, knowing that You are with us always.
Our Father Who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil and the evil one. For Thine is the kingdom and the power, and the glory, forever and ever.
Amen
“This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” Psalm 118:24 (ESV)
God bless you!
Richard
Christ Worshipper | Disciple Maker | Hope Giver
Welcome to In the Meantime. I'm glad you're here! We are living in the time between Christ's ascension into heaven and His promised return to earth. In the Meantime is a collection of stories about God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, and His presence, love, mercy and grace in my life. In the Meantime, Jesus is Lord! Hallelujah!
Comments